Three requirements

So how do golf carts fit into my obsessions? A golf cart is one of three necessary accessories for a dream job. But who didn't already know that.

At some point, we've all taken a career assessment or personality inventory, listing what makes us feel fulfilled and what we want to avoid. My self-analysis didn't lead to a career path; it pointed toward the three things I need to be happy. They are, in no particular order:

1. Golf cart (I need the keys too)
2. Clipboard
3. Walkie-talkie

An internship at a large speedway and volunteer stints at a smaller racetrack and a pro golf tournament all provided me with my three requirements. None of them provided self-sustaining employment opportunities, however.

How do I survive the daily grind without these three things? Excellent question. I always have a clipboard in my office, so I can walk around and feel in control while checking thing off with my pink pen (another story for another time). That gives me one of the three, 40 hours a week. And for the past 13 seasons I've had a part-time gig that provides me with a walkie-talkie and clipboard every time I work. Occasionally I'm even offered a golf cart ride. But they won't let me drive. Close, but no cigar.

Where can I find a job with all three required accessories? Since a golf cart is involved, the job probably should be located somewhere warm, and near a beach, since that'll make me a happy camper.

I'll throw out some options here, but if you have any thoughts, please leave a comment. Exhaustive search engine hunts for "golf cart," "clipboard," and "walkie-talkie" have yielded nothing workable.

1. Campground manager
2. Golf course beverage salesperson
3. Security in a gated community
4. Theme park maintenance supervisor
5. Airport concourse shuttle driver

I'll stop there for now. And trust me, this dream job hunt is no secret. My boss even plays along: She gave me a clipboard engraved with my initials for Christmas.